was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
