Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Are my feet made of real feet?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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