apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
