so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
