...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
