Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
