fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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