im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
