This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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