Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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