So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
