we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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