it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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