Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Houston, we have a squirter
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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