Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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