38 yer olds are good kisserssss
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
