He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize