she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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