Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
