hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This girl is more easily done than said...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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