This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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