He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
