I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
