closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
