hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
