Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize