You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
