I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
