She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize