Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
