i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
