The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
