Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
