i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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