I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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