I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Randomize
