There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
