Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
