boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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