He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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