Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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