nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
