my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
