I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Someone came in the potted fern
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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