is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
