Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize