Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
