friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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