Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sext me about skeletons
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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