They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
