Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
