The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
