dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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