Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
