i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
