Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
