I wish my penis had an off switch
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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