Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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