drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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