Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
