I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
