I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
