Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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